Parenting is never easy. A child's well-being is always at the heart of what we care about most. If you've ever wondered whether your child might show some signs of ADHD, you may relate to Alicia's story.
"I've been wondering for a while if my daughter might have ADHD. But when I compare her to my friend's son Eli, who has been formally diagnosed, they seem so different. He's always on the go and blurts things out without thinking. My daughter, on the other hand, is quiet and often lost in her own thoughts. Could they really have the same condition?"
It might surprise you, but they can.
"From what I see in my practice, ADHD really doesn't look the same in everyone. It can change with the subtype, the stage of life, and just the unique differences from one person to another."
ADHD Has Different Subtypes
At diagnosis, providers often identify a subtype based on the most prominent symptoms:
- Predominantly Inattentive Type: Trouble sustaining focus, easily distracted, often appears to be "daydreaming," but without high levels of hyperactivity.
- Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: High energy, difficulty sitting still, and a tendency to act before thinking.
- Combined Type: A mix of both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive traits.
These subtypes help describe how ADHD currently presents, but they aren't fixed for life.
Symptoms Can Shift Over Time
The way ADHD shows up can change as children grow. Hyperactive behaviour often becomes less obvious in the teen years, while difficulties with focus, organisation, and follow-through may persist or even become more noticeable. Some children who once fit the hyperactive/impulsive type may later meet criteria for the combined type. It's like how your child's height and interests change with age — a year ago you might have been buying children's toys, but this year their birthday wish is a telescope.
Context and Co-Occurring Conditions
ADHD traits are like a garden with many different plants, each shaped by the soil, sunlight, and everything else around it. School structure, teacher expectations, family routines, and peer relationships can all influence how each "plant" grows and looks over time. On top of that, ADHD often occurs alongside other conditions like anxiety, learning disorders, or oppositional defiant disorder. These factors can mask or amplify certain traits, which is why two children with the same diagnosis can face very different challenges.
Why This Matters for Families
Jennifer: Speaking from a provider's point of view, it is important to understand that ADHD can look different from one child to another, and that you should avoid the trap of comparing your child's behavior too closely to another.
Why? Because a thorough assessment concerning the subtype, the developmental history, and the setting your child spends time in is important. Now what matters most is not whether your child's symptoms match someone else's symptoms, but whether or not those symptoms are causing difficulties in the daily life of your child, and ways that support can be provided.
References:
Citation:
Kieling, R., Rohde, L.A. (2010). ADHD in Children and Adults: Diagnosis and Prognosis. In: Stanford, C., Tannock, R. (eds) Behavioral Neuroscience of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Its Treatment. Current Topics in Behavioral Neurosciences, vol 9. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg. https://doi.org/10.1007/7854_2010_115
Website: https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/7854_2010_115
