I get overwhelmed by group chats and then disappear — is that ADHD or social anxiety?

It could be ADHD, social anxiety, or a mix of both — and the overlap is so common that many people can’t tell which one is driving the shutdown. What you’re describing fits patterns seen in both conditions, but for different reasons. People with ADHD often get overwhelmed in group chats because the stream of messages moves too fast, the threads jump around, and the brain struggles to track multiple conversational lines at once. Notifications pile up, replying feels effortful, and the guilt of being “behind” makes it even harder to re‑enter. The disappearing act is usually about executive‑function overload, not fear of judgment. With social anxiety, the overwhelm tends to come from worry about saying the wrong thing, being judged, or misreading tone. The disappearing act is more about self‑protection — stepping back to avoid potential embarrassment or conflict. A lot of people experience both: ADHD makes the chat hard to follow, and anxiety fills in the gaps with self‑criticism or fear of disappointing others. The result looks the same from the outside, but the internal experience is different. A helpful way to sort it out is to notice what’s happening inside when you pull away. If it feels like mental clutter, fatigue, or “I can’t keep up,” that leans ADHD. If it feels like worry, overthinking, or “I’ll say something wrong,” that leans social anxiety. If it’s both at once, that’s extremely common.