I only realize how overwhelmed I am once I completely shut down

What you’re describing is very common for people with ADHD or high-stress brains. Often, the brain is so focused on “pushing through” and managing immediate tasks that it doesn’t register gradual stress or overload until it reaches a breaking point. The reason you don’t notice the overwhelm until you completely shut down is that your brain is running in overdrive without giving clear signals along the way. When you’re constantly pushing through, your mind treats stress as background noise, prioritizing task completion over self-check-ins. With ADHD, the part of the brain that tracks how overloaded you are can be especially quiet, so gradual frustration, fatigue, and mental clutter don’t feel urgent until they pile up. Masking or trying to appear “fine” adds another layer, suppressing subtle warning signs. By the time the crash comes, it looks sudden, but really it’s the tipping point of a long, unnoticed buildup. Paying attention to small cues such as tension, irritability, forgetfulness, or slowed thinking can help catch the stress earlier before it reaches the point of total shutdown.