is it common for parents to realise THEY have adhd after their kid is diagnosed?

Yes, this is incredibly common. I’d actually say it’s one of the most frequent things I see after a child’s diagnosis. A parent reads through the assessment and suddenly feels like they’re reading parts of their own life story. The comments about procrastination, emotional intensity, losing track of time, needing pressure to perform, or feeling “not quite consistent” hit close to home. It can be surprising and sometimes emotional. There’s a clear genetic component to ADHD, so from a clinical perspective it makes sense that it runs in families. But what’s often more striking is the realization. Many parents grew up in a time when ADHD was either narrowly defined or overlooked, especially if they were bright, compliant, or coping reasonably well. They may have internalized their struggles as personal flaws rather than differences in regulation. Sometimes it’s just shared personality traits. But when you start recognizing long standing patterns in yourself across school, work, and relationships, it’s worth being curious. The key question isn’t “Do I match my child?” but “Have I struggled in consistent ways that never quite made sense?” What I often see is that when a parent explores their own patterns, it benefits the whole family. There’s more compassion, more realistic expectations, and often less shame on both sides. Even just understanding why certain things feel harder can reduce tension at home. If reading your child’s report stirred something in you, that doesn’t mean you’re projecting. It usually means something resonated. Exploring that gently, at your own pace, can be surprisingly relieving.